The pandemic has made us so dependent on online dating that we tend to forget that an IRL date is always better. The spark or rush can be twice as fun and exciting when you date someone in person.
But, inviting someone out for a hang-out isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Some people hate asking others out for dinner or drinks as it gives them anxiety, panic, and a great deal of sweating. If you belong to the latter part of the spectrum, this month’s blog will be your savior!
We rounded up the easiest steps you can track when asking someone out. These tips will also work well for those who’ve been itching to transition their online situationship to IRL dating.
Steps to Asking an Online Friend for an IRL Date
The greater and easier part about asking your online friend for an IRL date is that you two have, deep down, been waiting for the question to pop. The moment both of you swiped right and slid each other’s inboxes, it was indication enough that you were curious about what an IRL date might mean for you both. You were just waiting for the perfect moment, perhaps.
Feel like the time couldn’t be more right to ask your online friend for an IRL date? Follow these steps to nail the art of asking out:
1. Start a conversation
Slide your online friend’s inbox with a “Hey, what’s up?” or “Hello.” Or, hit them up with anything and strike a conversation after. You can talk about anything light and positive here—to ready them with your news later.
If you’re on a video call, be on your brightest and happiest self! Don’t forget to smile and make eye contact with them. Otherwise, you’ll have them thinking something’s up, which will make them nervous before getting the chance to hear from you.
However you plan to ask your online friend out, don’t pop the question right away. Instead, take this time to lay the groundwork. Ping their inbox every day and night and let them get used to your presence.
You can also ask your friend what they’re doing the whole week—just remember to be subtle here. Doing all these will make the conversation flow smoothly.
2. Pop the question
If you’re quite lowkey and like to get personal from the get-go, a coffee date is always great. (Okay. that rhymed!) But, if you wish for your date to be less awkward, you can invite them to a concert with friends. It will be less stressful as you will already be going out with a gang.
Should they refuse your offer, it will be hardly painful since you’re already going to a concert with friends. Your date’s presence on that day would have only been a bonus—that’s just it. Inviting them to a friend’s party or an office party may also turn out well.
Nevertheless, avoid asking them to your cousin’s wedding or any party where a family member will be around. Don’t make them feel rushed before even getting to know each other personally.
3. Let them know they can refuse the offer
It can also help prove that they won’t go on your date out of pity. More importantly, it will show your online friend that you are confident and mature enough to handle rejection.
4. Wait for their response
You can also take this time to convince yourself that whatever your online friend’s decision will be, it will all be okay. The worst that can happen is that your friend declines your offer—and that’s okay. You will be okay.
5A. If they refuse: Move on and test the waters elsewhere
There are many reasons why your online friend—someone whom you text day and night and update your daily activities—may have declined your offer. It may be because they like someone else, the timing isn’t right, or they’re simply not ready to go on a date. Whatever their reasons may be, don’t hold on.
True, there will be a brief, painful sting at first. When you do, feel that pain—don’t stop yourself from being human. Cry if you must and bawl if you have to.
But, after feeling sad, be thankful to whomever divine being you believe in. You were just saved from years of possible heartaches if you pushed for that relationship.
Remember that your friend’s refusal to go on a date with you doesn’t say anything about you. Remind yourself that their rejection doesn’t make you less or inadequate for love just because they’re not interested in you. Being turned down by someone is natural, and it happens to anyone.
5B. If they go with you: Plan a date ASAP!
If you’re anything like the conventional couple that met on the internet, you must be miles apart from your online date. As such, you can easily plan a Zoom date. Just be sure to set your schedules well and plan a romantic setting to feel the romance despite the virtual gap.
Or, if you’re both the romantic type and are willing to fly across the world to meet up, offering to fetch the other at the airport should be the first step. Whoever’s fetching who, the other person should bring along something cute with them, like an adorable signboard with flowers.
But, if you both live nearby, then that’s great! You can always push for a classic dinner at the restaurant. A stroll by the park or movie-watching also doesn’t miss. Nonetheless, when arranging your IRL date, make the itinerary exciting and memorable!
Good luck and have fun!
Transitioning from being just online friends to IRL lovers can be a hit-or-miss excursion. It isn’t for the too idealistic and most surely isn’t for the light-hearted either. First and second dates can take a toll on their minds, but the waiting game before it all can be nerve-racking!
As such, gather up all the courage you need when asking someone to be your IRL date. On your actual date, enjoy, have fun, and be present. But, if it doesn’t pan out the way you hoped to, remind yourself that there will be other first dates that should be more exciting.
Whatever the result of your future date may be, don’t let it pressure you. If something great must happen off the app, it will happen naturally. Good luck and have fun!